Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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