Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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