I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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