State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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