Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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