She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
