Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
