What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
