In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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