It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sorry about my life...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize