hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
