I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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