okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
