I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
