I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize