I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
