sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
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No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
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I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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