no, he came in my armpit
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize