Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
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Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Fuck me I smell like cheese
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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