so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
