when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
