dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
