i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
