I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize