I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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