So drunk, too bad you don't want this
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize