So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
