how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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