Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
so much tequila, so little girl.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
