We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
