What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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