i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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