good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
