apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
