My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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