Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
