ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
