you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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