So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
