You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
