onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
