If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
