I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I FOUND THE LEGS
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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