But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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