whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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