But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I would fuck him just for his dog
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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