Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
