you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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