Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
