is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
