That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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