Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
