oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
