somebody snuck up and got me drunk
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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