i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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