He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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