After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize