Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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