so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
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Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
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