So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
